apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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