I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
