A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
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I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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