in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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