there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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