Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
