In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf