Your dad touched me again.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.