Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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