One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
