found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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