CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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