So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
