Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
