I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
