but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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