Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
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she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
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The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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