at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
