I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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