So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
