She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my shit smells like andre
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
