She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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