Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
