Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
