Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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