I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
