y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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