he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We had sex on a dog bed..
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