In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
