Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
