So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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