Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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