you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
