how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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