butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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