But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
