Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you didnt know i had herpes?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
