That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How external is "for external use only"?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
