I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
