bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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