its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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