I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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