Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
