So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
