and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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