Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
