He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
