This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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