What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
