Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
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That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
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Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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