Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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