I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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