i don't plan on having that self control this summer
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Come see our sink grown plant.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
