so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
