she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize