My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
