just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
