i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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