the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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