Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish I only lived at night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
