I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
